“I’m a pregnant woman, everybody move outta my way.”
It’s very easy for me to slip into this refined and elegant attitude when I’m with child. Pregnant with my second, Waverley -pictured above, I went out to lunch with my sister. It was in the time when I was hardcore craving chips and salsa -I’d become quite the connoisseur. Hangry, I asked (read: demanded) the waiter bring out chips and salsa with an urgency of gas masks during a chemical attack. “I’m pregnant,” punctuated the request.
This way of thinking -a feeling of entitlement- can seep into all areas of my life. (It feels crapping admitting flaws, but I share because I believe the struggle is real.) Whether it’s about working less, lounging more, eating foods or amounts I know I shouldn’t; I guess it comes down to indulgence. Indulging in entitlement.
“I am pregnant, therefore I deserve special concessions.”
Well, yeah. For somethings, sure. You don’t need to be the one climbing the ladder to hang birthday decorations, or moving the couch up a flight of stairs when you’re 34 weeks along. Otherwise, if I’m honest with myself -and that’s the goal, I really don’t deserve anything differently than if I wasn’t pregnant.
With a tsunami of pregnancy hormones washing my brain, altering my emotions, it’s quite easy to forget all logic and just be a puddle of feelings. But the splashback on my family and others is…not good. And that’s where I need to focus on extending grace.
Yes, this time in my life is ultra precious to me. There is something deeply spiritual, primal, gratifying and whole about having a baby growing inside you. It’s freaking glorious. I can honor, respect and cherish this time. But my condition does not change my value, nor does it raise my level of importance above anyone else (and I’m particularly thinking about my household because that’s where we make the most impact.)
Reaching beyond myself and extending grace to my husband, to my children, to my clients and friends, is imperative. It’s also hard. We’re hardwired to be selfish. Pair that with feeling like we deserve special treatment and you’ve got a winning combination for trouble.
When it comes down to it, “Am I acting like a grown up, or am I acting like a child?”
That pretty much addresses the issue for me. And, one of my favorite quotes:
“Everything you do, do from a place of LOVE.”