I have this idea.
It started a little bit in my heart, a little bit in my head and began to dance through my veins and make me tingle.
The sensation is strange, a little scary, and quite thrilling all at once.
It’s my dream. Or one of my dreams, because I have many.
Acting on it feels supremely risky…because I might fail. I might look silly. My first attempts might look terrible, and then I’ll want to give up. I’ll feel like a goofball, a failure, a dreamer, a windbag, a flake. But mainly, a failure. After all this risk and effort and investment of heart and energy… I might fail. And I hate the F word. Because, to me, it so often speaks right to who I am and it tells me that if what I make or do is crappy, then I’m crappy. And I don’t want others to think I am (and secretly maybe I believe I am, but want to keep the charade going that I know what I’m doing and I’m good at this grown-up life.)
So the fear of failure keeps me from trying.
Have you ever jumped off a dock into water? Or a diving board? Or any ledge that took you from a dry place to a wet, chilly place? Oh my goodness, the anticipation is so thrilling -and so darn SCARY, isn’t it? Nervously, excitedly shifting your weight from foot to foot as you decide when is the perfect time to jump in -or if you should. No, you should. Wait, wait, wait, I don’t know -I have mascara on, it will run and I’ll look ridiculous. But the water looks so WONDERFUL! Do it! Just do it, just JUMP alrea…. AAAAHHHHH!! *SPLASH!*
And that, my friends, is how I want to approach this dream.
Yep, I know I have many. Some are just fluff and fancy. But others that have lived in my body for so long are just aching to get out and materialize. You know, those dreams you have that are so real you can taste them? You can see yourself living them out and see great things truly happening? Ugh, it’s scary to think of -actually succeeding at something you’re taking a chance on.
But, like the famous quote says,
“Ain’t nothin’ to it, but to do it.”
-Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Edison. Or Little Caesar.
Are you ready? (Really, am I ready?)